The song, Here Comes the Sun, by the Beatles has become so special to me in the past few years. Right about the time Lucie was coming home from the hospital, Rob and I heard this song, and immediately thought of her. It really captured the sentiment of the few months that she was in the hospital which were so hard and took place in the winter and the excitement of her coming home in the spring!
“Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun,
and I say
It’s all right”
On April 8th, Lucie’s ordinal due date, we celebrated her homecoming day, or as we call it, “Lucie Day”. We visited some of the nurses in the NICU and went to brunch afterward. We couldn’t help but reflect on the last three years, sometimes wishing that things would have been different and easier, and more typical and less scary. Through the experience though, I know our family has felt so many blessings, both tangible and intangible. It’s painful to surrender complete control, to face fears, and to grieve unmet expectations. But it’s also extremely fulfilling to experience God’s comfort, peace, faithfulness and nearness. Effects from this experience continue to impact and shape us even to this day.
It makes me think of a podcast I was listening to recently, where Bob Goff was being interviewed and discussing being "sad but not stuck". He told a story about when he went white water rafting with his son, on Class Five rapids on the Nile River – adding that there’s no such thing as Class Six rapids. At some point during their adventure, they went over this cliff with water on it and his son fell out! They stayed stuck in an eddy at the bottom of the cliff, and lost his son for an hour. They finally found him hanging from a mangrove vine (in crocodile infested waters) down the river. From that he just shared that what he thinks can happen sometimes, “is that when something goes terribly awry… a relationship, something burns down in your life… that we can just over identify with that. We stay stuck in an eddy of just reflecting on that, and reflecting on that, when I think that God wants us to paddle back into fast moving waters and keep going down the river.” That struck me, because recently I have realized that at times, much of my personal, spiritual growth has been stuck in this eddy of reflection over this very traumatic season in my life. Yes, God was very present, and I grew so much, but the seasons that have followed have been unmistakably marked by that experience, and I can't help but view things through that lens. I have realized that deep down inside, I have feelings of fear and anxiety, that leave me mentally paralyzed. I have some exciting ideas and projects I'd love to pursue, but I just stay stuck. Hearing that illustration put into words the stirring I have been feeling, the voice of my Heavenly Father saying to my heart, "Trust me, I am still here, I know you, I see you, come know me, don't be afraid, take that first step, paddle back into the fast moving waters... with me." I'm hoping this can be encouragement to someone else today, too.
I am truly thankful for Lucie’s story and the ups and downs in her journey so far. It is my joy to get to be a part of it every day. In addition to some pictures from Lucie Day, here’s what else we’ve been up to the last two months; from our 600 square foot home, to Midtown, to the Bronx, to Detroit, to Nashville.
Love, Los Hicksons
Friday Mornings <3
During the winter, we would take advantage of all of this space on the Mezzanine of the Q line by our apartment. Lucie would ride her scooter a ton and started to learn to ride a balance bike.
Ice Skating in Bryant Park
Brunch at Clinton Street Bakery with the McV's.
Just a regualr night. Daddy brushing Lucie's hair after her bath.
Lucie playing with our neihbor, Pilar.
Warm chocolate chip cookies for breakfast? Yes, please.
Our genius friend, Kat and her husband David (behind the counter) at Mottley Kitchen. We love getting to head up to the South Bronx to have breakfast at their restaurant. It was a perfect start to our Bronx Day Adventure.
A display of Italian condiments and food, in Little Italy in the Bronx.
Delicious Pizza!
Rob and I getting to be Mystery Readers in Lucie's class.
Ladies Night celebrating our friendship with Erin as she prepares to move to Michigan. We will miss her so. Look! The Empire State Building!
Brunch with Teena, James, and Anaya.
The kids at church singing on Palm Sunday. Lucie stayed near to her Daddy during the whole song. We're making progress; in December, she didn't want to sing on stage at all, and asked me to get her down half way through the song. Next time maybe she'll actually stand with the other kiddos.
Game Time with Molly and J!
Shenanigans and Best Friends
Lucie and Boonches, an Easter Tradition.
Rooftop Easter Egg Hunt!
We had the BEST detour through the Detroit airport on our way to see the Paynes in Nashville. Lucie loved the red shuttle train.
So fun playing in this water fountain.
Family pic!
After 15 hours. We made it! Hello, Nashville! Lucie would call it, "Nashville-y".
Such joy to be with the Payne Family.
Lucie and her buddy, Luke.
Sunshine and Downtown Nashivlle.
Springtime Sledding with Julie and Luke!
Such a big cheesy grin from Julie here. What a welcoming home. Thank you Payne family for your loving hospitality.
About two hours upon landing back in NYC, our good friend, Charles came to stay with us for a few days!
Watching a Heat Game at MSG!
Visiting the NICU and the loving nurses we came to know so dearly to celebrate Lucie Day.
While Charles and Rob went to the golf range at Chelsea Pier, Aly and Nana came to visit Lucie and love on her!
Touring one of our favorite museums.
Charles, thank you for coming to see us in New York City.
Silly breakfasts on Fridays before school/ work.
Storytime at Mottley Kitchen =)
Nat, AJ, Lucie, Rob
PARK DAYS
The Green Ladies - JOSSIE my dear friend, and her sweet daughter, Alana.
Kubb in The Park
Date Night with my love.
MOOOAAARRRR (More + Roar) Park Days!
Los Hicksons
Guys, I started running. Prepping for a race in June! Running is terrible and wonderful at the same time. Terrible, because it is mentally so difficult, and wonderful because ENDORPHINS and HEALTHY LIVING! Yay.
Tres Leche cake slices as big as your face! Celebrating Bridgette's birthday.
Tulips on Park Avenue
Tulips as tall as my girl
Dinner with Tzion who was in NYC for a quick visit. He was a ring bearer in our wedding when he was five! <3 <3 <3
I'm kind of obsessed with the tulips on Park. I took this on a run and did not edit the color at all. What a gift to live in this City!