What’s it like when the City that never sleeps, is told to go take a long, long nap? Well, our life here has changed in every possible way, and it’s been hard on all of us. I know everyone is making adjustments — but going from the speed of this city, to a complete abrupt stop feels like coming off of a moving sidewalk in the airport. You feel like your legs should still be moving.
I’m working remotely.
Lucie is doing school remotely.
We’re attending church remotely.
Felicity and Lucie get all of their therapy remotely - with Rob’s full involvement.
Huddle Up is at a stand still.
We’re home and sheltering in place, and missing so many people we would see day to day that it hurts. The first time Lucie saw her friends from school on Google Classroom, and smiled saying hi to each kiddo, I teared up feeling so sad that her childhood looks like this right now.
The first time we attended a zoom church service, the tears flowed as I thought about the uncertainty of how long this will continue, and wondered what this city will look like when it’s all over.
So many things that used to feel like such certainties, now feel so uncertain.
In my Christian walk, I have been taught that the things of this world won’t last forever, the day-to-day grind isn’t where my purpose lies, or where my joy should come from. I feel like I have agreed on those points without much thought up until now. Because up until now, that concept has really always just been “in theory”. If I lose my job, if I lose my health, if I lose my friends, then “in theory”, my relationship with Jesus can still sustain me; joy can still be found, and my purpose can still thrive beyond my circumstances.
This time we are now living in has shaken things up so much to the point where it’s not just in theory anymore. On a daily basis, I am seeing my friends lose their jobs, my husband’s company bleed out, people getting sick, some are dying, businesses are closing, schools are closing. I feel like, whether we like it or not, we are all getting a hands on understanding of just how temporal things can be in this life. While I see so many of my familiar experiences fade away, something that has risen through the debris, has been a clearer picture of just how steadfast God’s presence in our lives has always been. Even when we didn’t notice it - as we zoomed past on our moving sidewalks - he has been with us. This has all been so hard. This has all been so sad. But I can say that i am thankful for this fresh perspective, and I have been able to experience joy in the midst of all of this uncertainty because of it. And by joy, I don’t I mean I am not sad, or grieving the loss of so many things that were, I just mean that I am confident that God’s presence will remain with us through it all - comforting us and helping us.
There are some other things I am thankful for -
Thankful for this time being more hands on with Lucie and Felicity day to day.
Thankful that we have been able to pretty easily come by everything we have had need of.
Thankful for working internet.
Thankful for family walks.
Thankful for winter leading into spring, and spring leading into summer.
Thankful for big closets, that I can step into for a moment to take a breath and restart when needed.
Thankful for health.
Thankful for socially distant walks with friends and picnics in central park.
Thankful for almost 11 years in this city; thankful for this poem.
Thankful for family near and far.
Thankful for this chance to share some pictures from our lives over the past two months, and looking forward to seeing you all and hugging you real tight some day soon!
Love,
Los Hicksons
I wanted to share a few more scenes of New York on Pause: